Worry is a hamster on a wheel that works really hard at going no where.
Worry is letting the the fear-full thoughts of what could happen, what did happen, what will happen, what may happen intimidate, control us, terrorize us. I choose. I choose to not be fear-full, but faith-filled.
We know the stats, the odds, the probability, the dangers, the risk, and I knew about a million “what if’s” – it’s called life. It’s called reality.
Trying to corral my thoughts together to put words to what was really just emotion, I realized how my life and perception of God’s place in my life has changed.
When facing a “worse case scenario” situation I said I had faith, that my God was big enough.
But, having faith God would be enough was an idea, it was a theory…it hadn’t been tested in my life. It was YES, I believe God will be there…it wasn’t an I KNOW, I’VE TESTED & I’VE PROVED GOD WILL BE THERE.
In the past few years several things have happened in my life that took my reliance on God from theory & great idea, easy thing to say, harder to practice…to being God-reliant is my LIFE.
In self-reliance mode I can do NO-THING; GOD-reliance changes everything.
I know what it feels like when the bottom falls out of my life-when I got laid off from the job I planned to retire from, when all my friends were getting married & having babies-and I didn’t even have a boyfriend, when all my hopes dreams, plans, wishes, goals and desires literally crumbled around me…and in a moment they are gone. …and everything becomes a struggle. Everything thing becomes so hard.
I know what it’s like to lose all self-confidence, to question my own judgment & I know what it’s like to be intimidated, beat up and bullied by fear…fear I couldn’t pay bills, fear I’d die alone, the crazy cat….ummm, dog lady… by myself with no kids or family. Fear that who I was-my identity REALLY was tied to my tenure with the company, title I wore, or money I made…
I know what it’s like to lose EVERY SINGLE THING I VALUED-and when the bottom dropped out of all my dreams, hopes and plans….and God revealed His plan for my life it was so amazing, more better than anything I could ever hope, dream or imagine in my wildest, craziest dreams. God’s Technicolor dreams for me, made my dreams look black & white.
I also know what it’s like when God allows you life to be torn to shreds, just so He can rebuild you in His image.
I know who I am, I am the child of the MOST HIGH GOD.
What other identity do I possibly need?
As I tried to put my emotions in words, this hymn kept coming to mind:
I care not today what the morrow may bring,
If shadow or sunshine or rain,
The Lord I know ruleth o’er everything,
And all of my worries are vain.
Living by faith in Jesus above,
Trusting, confiding in His great love;
From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,
I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.
Though tempests may blow and the storm clouds arise,
Obscuring the brightness of life,
I’m never alarmed at the overcast skies—
The Master looks on at the strife.
I know that He safely will carry me through,
No matter what evils betide;
Why should I then care though the tempest may blow,
If Jesus walks close to my side.
Our Lord will return for His loved ones some day,
Our troubles will then all be o’er;
The Master so gently will lead us away,
Beyond that blest heavenly shores.
No one can predict the future…but I also understand I lean not on my understanding but Gods.
I trust God, He’s already in my future, in the plans and dreams He has for me. He will be there when I catch up.
When we worry we try to take from God what is His responsibility – He is our provider.
Whatever God allows to happen He knows we are strong enough or He wouldn’t ask it of us…
We can’t keep the people we cherish most safe and carefully bundled in bubble wrap by the volume of worry…
…and why should we?
Our life, and all if it’s circumstances & messes, are in Gods hands and under His protection.
Who am I that I should usurp the place God has reserved for Himself as my comforter, provider, refuge, might fortress – with worry?